I wanna passion pit in your ass
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
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