I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She's the barista slut.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
