Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
