whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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