he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
