My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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