I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
