Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
