Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
