My nipple is on Facebook.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
