um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
