First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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