I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
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