He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
