Bisexual people are plain selfish.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
