theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
