Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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