that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Girls should come with a carfax report
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
