dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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