And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
