we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
