So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
