just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
