I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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