I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
