is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
