definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
