Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
