doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize