ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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