Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
