Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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