I think scott just propositioned me for sex
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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