im gay
i know
yea but for you.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just gift wrapped bread.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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