I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We had sex on a dog bed..
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
