Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Randomize
