I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
