I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize