If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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