K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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