he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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