do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize