Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
