I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
this boner is exhausting
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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