Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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