So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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