Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
