I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
