I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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