He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
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He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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