Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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