currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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