Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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