ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
