i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
