I can tuck mytits in my pants
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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