My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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