We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
