Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
