Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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