were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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