I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Farmville is her only friend.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Randomize
